Holy Bible Online 
The family is a life project created by God before sin became part of humanity. Today, even living in an extremely troubled world, we can enjoy a healthy family environment.
Text: Ephesians 5:22-6:4
Objective: To encourage listeners to decide to live out the fundamental pillars of family relationships.
Theme: The 4 Pillars of a Structured Family
Introduction
1. Illustration: The foundations of a house.
Just as a house needs a solid foundation to stand firm, a family also needs strong pillars to remain strong.
2. The Background:
- Our foundation is Jesus Christ.
- On this foundation, God's Word guides us to build four pillars that will provide support for our home (family).
3. Key Idea:
We need to put into practice the essential pillars of a family described in God's Word in order to develop a healthy family environment in our homes.
Pillars of a Structured Family Described in the Word of God
I. The Husband's Love for His Wife
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansingher by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church - 30 for we are members of his body.
- Ephesians 5:25-30
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In the English language, the word "love" has several meanings.
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The Bible was originally written in Koine Greek, and in Greek, the word "love" has multiple meanings. The four main types are:
- Eros (romantic love, passion in the relationship between a couple)
- Philia (friendship and companionship between friends and siblings)
- Storge (affection and attachment between parents and children)
- Agape (divine and sacrificial love of God for mankind).
3. The term used by the apostle Paul in this passage of Ephesians 5:25-30 is "agape." This love is the love of God for man. "Agape" has some practical meanings:
- It is a decision
- It is a commitment
- It requires action
- It is unconditional
4. These four meanings are independent of feelings. The model of this love is Christ’s love for the Church (v. 25).
5. It is with this sacrificial love that a husband should love his wife.
II. The Wife's Respect for Her Husband
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
- Ephesians 5:22-24, 33
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Female submission is a subject of much controversy.
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If we analyze the conclusion the apostle Paul makes in verse 33 of this passage, we will realize that submission is nothing more than respect.
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The difference between man and woman is functional, not positional:
- Man and woman have different roles in the family context.
- The man is not superior to the woman, nor is the woman superior to the man.
4. Submission means respecting the leadership position established by God for the man.
5. A woman who does not respect her husband influences her children to disrespect authorities: their father, teachers, leaders, and even God Himself.
III. The Education Given by Parents in the Relationship with Their Children
4 Fathers,do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
- Ephesians 6:4
Parents must be careful not to provoke anger in their children. Two aspects can cause anger in children:
A. Lack of Education
15 A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom,
but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.
- Proverbs 29:15
B. Excessive Discipline
Discipline your children, for in that there is hope;
do not be a willing party to their death.
- Proverbs 19:18
Education involves two aspects:
A. Formative Instruction
Start children off on the way they should go,
and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
- Proverbs 22:6
B. Corrective Discipline
Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
- Proverbs 13:24
Formative Instruction Must Precede Corrective Discipline: The child needs to know what is wrong before being corrected for the mistake they made.
Instruction and Correction Should Happen in Balance: Some parents tend to emphasize instruction more, while others emphasize correction more.
IV. The Obedience of Children in Relation to Their Parents
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” - which is the first commandment with a promise - 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.
- Ephesians 6:1-3
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The Word of God tells us that children should obey their parents.
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Following this, the apostle Paul quotes Exodus 20:12, stating that children should honor their parents.
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Honoring is more than obeying, but the child who obeys is honoring their parents.
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The passage emphasizes that this is a command with a promise: that everything may go well with the child and they may have a long life.
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God is a Father and He cares for the fatherly authority.
Conclusion
Parallel Passage: These same four pillars appear in Colossians 3:18-21.
Instructions for Christian Households
18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
21 Fathers,do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
- Colossians 3:18-21
These are the 4 pillars of a healthy family environment. Whenever a family shows signs of chronic or temporary dysfunction, one of these pillars is being neglected.
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