Holy Bible Online Base Text:
Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky
- Philippians 2:14-15
Theme: Biblical Principles for Resolving Family Conflicts.
Objective: To lead the listeners to the decision to want to resolve their family conflicts in a healthy way by applying the principles established in God’s Word.
Main Idea: The Bible contains principles that can help us resolve family conflicts.
Introduction
- Every family at some point faces internal conflict.
- This conflict can vary in intensity or circumstances.
- A structured and healthy family is not one that has no conflicts, but one that knows how to resolve its conflicts.
8 Principles for Resolving Family Conflicts
As Christians, we can and should resolve our family conflicts in a healthy way.
1. Avoid unnecessary arguments
Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
- 2 Timothy 2:23-24
- Often, we find ourselves in discussions that are unnecessary.
- Pride can drag us into an argument where everyone loses.
- We need to be alert. There are certain things not worth fighting for.
It is to one’s honor to avoid strife,
but every fool is quick to quarrel.
- Proverbs 20:3
2. Seek to respond with gentleness
A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
- Proverbs 15:1
- It’s not always easy to respond to a harsh word with gentleness.
- The way we respond can be crucial to resolving the conflict.
- When we answer a harsh word with gentleness, we can break the cycle of conflict.
Through patience a ruler can be persuaded,
and a gentle tongue can break a bone.
- Proverbs 25:15
3. Think before you speak
A person finds joy in giving an apt reply -
and how good is a timely word!
The Lord detests the thoughts of the wicked,
but gracious words are pure in his sight.
The heart of the righteous weighs its answers,
but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.
- Proverbs 15:23, 26, 28
- Let your mind engage, not just your emotions.
- Respond with reason, not with the heart.
- When we respond guided by emotions, most of the time, we will have to apologize later.
Sin is not ended by multiplying words,
but the prudent hold their tongues.
- Proverbs 10:19
4. Seek peace in relationships
Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.
- Romans 14:19
- Peace requires personal effort.
- As far as it depends on us, we should live at peace with everyone.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
- Romans 12:18
They must turn from evil and do good;
they must seek peace and pursue it.
- 1 Peter 3:11
5. Have a spiritual view of the conflict
Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven - if there was anything to forgive - I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
- 2 Corinthians 2:10-11
- The secret to victory is knowing the enemy’s strategy.
- "Divide and conquer" is one of the Devil's greatest strategies.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
- Ephesians 6:12
6. Speak the truth in love
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
- Ephesians 4:15, 25
- Often, we use the truth as a weapon.
- The truth must be spoken in love, in the context of relationship.
- Blasting the truth in anger is a form of personal retaliation.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
- Ephesians 4:29
7. Be led by the Holy Spirit
So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
- Galatians 5:16, 25-26
- When the truth is spoken in love, but not led by the Holy Spirit, it may be said at an inappropriate time.
- The Spirit should direct our words.
- When we are led by the Spirit, we can be sure of the success of the outcome, even if it doesn’t seem so at the moment.
- Being led by the flesh or by the Spirit will determine whether the conflict is resolved or not.
Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
- Galatians 6:8
8. Decide to forgive always
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
- Ephesians 4:32
- Forgiveness is independent of feelings. It is an act of obedience, the result of a rational decision.
- The decision to forgive enables us to wish good for the offender.
- Those who do not forgive suffer from resentment. Resentment means to feel the wrong again. Whenever we remember what happened, we feel the offense once more.
- Unresolved resentment turns into bitterness.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Relational conflicts are often driven by unresolved emotional conflicts.
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.
- James 4:1-2a
Conclusion
- Seek a healthy solution to your personal conflicts!
- Before being crucified, Jesus prayed to the Father and asked for our unity. The Lord desires for us to live in unity with those around us.
My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one - I in them and you in me - so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
- John 17:20-23
You could also read: